The New Year. ( and the return of Amityboy)

Sitting down in my car that morning i had no idea what i was in store for. I started the car and turned towards the main road from my house. As my luck would have it, it had been raining that night and in my way i saw this large chunk of dirty, slimy green debree... ok so it was just a fallen tree... so i spun the car around, while a bunch of other idiots who decided to stand there and look pretty until the tree was cleared cuz they were too lazy to do anything, stood there. I drove around the colony down the other side to come onto the parallel (or is it parrallel) road for the main road and to my utter surpise saw that there was a jam. As i looked on ahead onto the main road i could see that nothing was moving, the cars just stood there as though they had been paralyzed or frozen, knowing what was going on around them but unable to move a muscle to do anything about it. So i decided to cut through the colony and take the service lane exit out. As i reached it i saw the same horrors. All those cars and buses just frozen there. Standing, watching, so still like those terrecotta warriors. I spun around only to be faced by a bunch of cars trying to get out and squeeze into the mix of already thousands of cars on the street. I drove through like a mad man, trying to reach the market before it was too late. As i turned at the market traffic lights i realised that it was only the cars on that street which didnt move, as if suspended in time and no one else seemed to notice. What diabolical sceme was this?! I drove straight, straight down the road blowing past all the cars and scootys that got in my way, going around ansal plaza via gargi just so i could get back onto the BRT so i could reach moolchand flyover and drive away to noida. I reached halfway down the road only to be stopped short by the evil traffic jam that had creeped its way so far beyond the line. I inched slowly and steadyly down to the brt, trying to avoid the typical delhi drivers who think squeezing through every gap they can find will help them get through the jam faster, every driver who believed that he or she could avoid the jam by cutting in front of all the others, every driver who thought that he or she was in more of a rush as the guy they just tried to cut across. After what seemed like weeks (25 minutes actually) i reached the end of the road, turned hopeing to find the light, the path that would freely and smoothly take me where i needed to. But alas, it wasnt so. Again stopped short by the very bluelines and dtc busses i had sworn to avoid, by the very models of cars i had just dodged, the jam i had just thwarted. I was once again stuck, but now all i needed was a hundred metres and i was home free. I rejoiced as managed to make the turn sooner than i had expected, but as i did i feared my joy was in vain. There in front of me was a (quote) massive monster mama jam (unquote-Jack Black) trying to squeeze through a gap meant for 2 cars at a time. But no, Luck was on my side this time (for once) and i managed to get through without breaking a sweat. Ha! Piece of cake. I thought. Smooth sailing from there to college, why i drove no hands on the dnd and laughed at the poor suckers stuck at the other side of the road for miles and miles around me. But how was i to know what dissappointment fate had in store for me, how was i to know that this was nothing but the calm before the storm. (insert favourite such saying here if you want). As i reached college i was happy to know that my usual parking spot was availible. Overjoyed i reversed into the empty slot next to a mercedes and an accord. An ugly gold ford ikon between two cars like that. Well atleast it added some colour to their poor black and black lives, i said to myself. I walked taking all my documents with me, looking forward to a fruitful day of reregistration, going home and a nice long nap. As i walked in to campus a pleasant surprise, my block was air conditioned. Wow!!! This is cool. I mean literally, its like 45 degrees outside this was like bliss. I went to my teachers to submit the remaining documents only to find out that i had been duped. Some Villains nefarious plot had them make additional forms for us to fill for submission and once we did that only then would we be re registered into college.

Another day of torturing driving through the tormented streets of New Delhi only to reach this hell hole know to the unlucky select few as College. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

And then to find out there might be a dress code. No long hair, no pierced ears, no jeans, shorts, t-shirts etc etc. Shirts Pants Ties Suits only. The horror the horror!!!!

I Would not stand for this, once again it was time to (in the words of Barney Stinson, i think its stinson, could someone check that for me) SUIT UP!

Amityboy was back for another year at college. Oh how he loates the college, the vicious money making factory of students. A place with no love, no hope, no faith and worst of all almost no trees. Oh the agony, all those cars coming in and no trees to compensate.

The evil hordes of teachers who live to torment and torture the innocent (and not so innocent) souls of the students who came there with a dream for a good education, turning them into zombies, brainwashed by the uncommon teaching tactics make specifically to bore student into submission, so that they bunk and get short attendance, so that they dont pay attention and they fail their papers. So that the college can make a shit load more money! Those vile evil ******************.

But this year we shall not fall to them. This time we will not fail, we will attend our classes, we will not sleep, or oversleep as the case may be. We will defeat them! Amityboy has returned, noidas most insane, inane, intolerable, annoying and practically unknown superhero.